Alien nation

[Martin Cassini]

Having already paid the odious con charge (odious in its operation and odious because it was imposed before deregulation was even tried), I drove to the City of London to check the new building on the skyline (the Heron Tower by Liverpool Street). I might regret the decision because of an unforced error, which I'll describe in a minute. The number of red light stops that are forced on you is farcical. One set of lights after another, dictating your every move. Often you have to wait for several light changes before getting across. Meanwhile, squadrons of traffic, prevented from filtering, sit and fume. There is no freedom whatsoever to exercise discretion or fellow feeling. If you have someone on your tail, understandably intent on beating the green, you have to ignore pedestrians you might otherwise have waved on. There are innumerable opportunities for FiT solutions, where all road-users could merge in a merry mix, e.g. at the confluence of roads at Bank, or the north side of London Bridge. But these are ignored in favour of a streetscape blighted by traffic signals, with pedestrians and traffic caught at red, interrupted in their natural flow, then released like lab rats when the lights change. The ill-conceived system is run by puppeteers who presume to know better than you and me at the time and the place how we should act. Already I'd had to drive three miles out of my way because I missed a right turn near the Tower of London. On the way back, I decided to avoid the chronic congestion on Newgate St (caused by the signals near the Old Bailey), by taking a different turning. But it was a trap. Only AFTER I'd entered it did I see a sign saying Buses and Taxis only. It was a ONE-WAY street, so there was no turning back. No doubt a penalty ticket is already on its way to punish me for my "offence". It struck me that the system does nothing to ease the pain and everything to increase it. With the fear of cameras, bus lanes, no-entries and one-way streets that make you go via XYZ to get from A-B, it’s remarkable that we get about unscathed at all. Far from punishing us for the odd failure to follow one of a million instructions, we should be applauded for surviving a nightmare obstacle course contrived by mean-spirited regulators who scheme to make life on the roads such an alienating experience.

[Luke Briner]

I used to live in Holloway and my girlfriend lived in Purley, South London. I remember coming home through the centre one night and counted 135 sets of traffic lights that I had to go through in something like 15 miles. Nice!